Friday, June 20, 2008

13 keys to a perfect first date

Reading dating coach, blogger and author, David Wygant article about the 13 keys to a perfect first date, posted on Monday, November 26, 2007. I stopped to ponder about all his keys. If going by the literal key, do we have such doors here for his keys to open? Maybe you could help me sort out how many of our doors in Nigeria his keys can open.

In his words, “I’ve come up with a checklist of some of my favourite first – date tactics that will leave her glowing at the end of the night. In fact, these are so good, she’ll be texting or calling you within the next 24 hours expecting more of the same!”

I know that lots of men will be interested in these keys, but before you get too excited, I will want us to check these keys on our own Nigerian doors. So, lets start with the keys.

Key 1: It is OK to suggest a drink instead of dinner for a first date. She dreads a potentially boring, four-course ordeal, too!

Check: Does that sound like you or rather not you. Okay, I would not want to take too much time on this. But for sure some doors here can be opened with this key.

Key 2: Always call her by early evening on Tuesday to confirm a Wednesday get – together – it is the polite thing to do and it lets her know that you are already thinking about her.

Check: Be honest now, I want to believe that the spark will still be there so, some of the holders of the key in this part of the world would naturally want to do this. What do you think? I think it is fairly applicable to our doors too.

Key 3: Be sure to leave both your home and work phone numbers. If you do not leave your home number, she might assume you have a wife or girlfriend. If you do not leave any number, she will wonder what game you are playing.

Check: Ten years ago in this part of the world, this key might not be for wooden doors, but marbles. But now thanks to GSM, this key seems like a door opener, though not helping to figure out that part of having a wife or a girl friend. Most Nigerian men tend to know their way around that.

Key 4: If you want to keep the plans a surprise, at least clue her in as to what to wear. You do not want an overdressed, overstressed woman navigating in high heels on a sunset beach walk.

Check: That will not be too bad, but most ladies surprise men instead!

KEY 5: Always listen to what she has to say, and make sure you wait until she is done with talking before responding.

Check: This is one key that most men do not have patience for, talk for most men come spontaneously and honestly most men end up talking more about themselves, what they want, and what they dislike forgetting the lady also need to talk.

KEY 6: Do not assume that just because you are out with a beautiful woman, she knows how pretty she looks — she wants to hear it from you. Do not go overboard, though, or she might think you are insincere.

Check: This key works here too, most times just that the sincerity part of it can be questioned.

KEY 7: Men judge women according to whether they can picture having sex with them; women judge men by whether they can imagine kissing them. White teeth, fresh breathe, great shoes, cell phone turned off, and unchapped lips make her more apt to lock lips with you that night.

Check: This key I am not so sure works here, but it is a possibility.

KEY 8: Do not ask her, “So, what kind of music do you like?” The last 10 guys asked that. Be original and instead fill your iPod with a great mix of music that expresses your style.

Check: That sounds good, but Nigerian first dates rarely start with such except on campuses anyway.

KEY 9: Tip well. Believe me, she will be watching.

Check: This key in Nigerian does not have too many doors to open. Tips at times is seen as being wasteful and unnecessarily generous, and most ladies are indifferent while some just cannot make any sense of it. Some ladies will appreciate it though, seeing you tip a waiter means you are a nice person that acknowledges good service.

KEY 10: Reading body language is simple: If she touches your arm, she is interested. If she touches your leg, she is interested tonight. If she leans away from you the whole night, she is not interested at all.

Check: This particular key was not designed for us. It is part of our culture that a Nigerian girl or lady should be shy or rather very reserved on her first date. So, the fact that she is leaning away from you does not mean that she is not interested, most Nigerian men know that too.

KEY 11: Very small gestures go a long way and show her you are a gentleman. When you drop her off at her house, be sure to wait the extra 30 seconds while she gets inside (and next time you might be going in with her!).

Check: Some men know this key while most feel it is not a very useful one at getting what they want. Some men believe that having the money and sweet tongue will do better in opening the door.

KEY 12: Women need momentum. Without it, they lose interest or wonder if you have lost it, too. Follow up with a phone call the next night. Even more important, ask her out at the end of the date. Do not play games or wait.

Check: This key can work here to an extent, but most Nigerian men see it as the ladies playing games with them. After three dates and the door does not seem to be opening, men here tend to check the next available door.

KEY 13: Never look at another woman when you are on a date. If she catches your wandering eye, you are done.

Check: This sounds more like a warning and I believe it could also work for Nigerian men, just that I trust most Nigerian men to be smart enough as they look at another woman.

Most of David’s keys can work here, but we have to understand that this article is not for you to start trying out these methods on ladies; it is just to enhance your dating whenever you choose to.